Humor

Eight things about the wedding ring (2)

(6) According to tradition, the engagement ring and wedding Cartier ring wear on the left hand’s different fingers. cartier A romantic color’s explanation is that the ring finger has vena veins, namely heart amorist direct source of traditional love.
(7) Now popular approach is cartier love the engagement ring and wedding ring in the same fingers, and it look likes a fashionable and expensive atmosphere.
(8)Finally, if we have the real cartier rings love, wear what material’s Cartier rings is not important. "Four weddings and a funeral” make a skeletons and small strawberry ring to be wedding ring, this not just illustrates?

I take off all my jewelries

After departing with my ex-boyfriend and for forgetting all these I went to beijing an big cartier city in my heart. My purpose is forget the past and coming out from the broken emotion. But I still can not take cartier ring cartier watches off my finger and the cartier charm bracelets off my wrist for they remembered our good time.
The ring is bought when we cartier pendant went shopping in cartier jewellery shop at that time we just got to know each other. And we together choose cartier love rings as our first presents for each cartier earrings other.

Socks

It was a Thursday morning when Ben woke up screaming. He had the sock dream again. He hadn't worn socks for about twelve years, but he had once. He liked them. The way they felt against his skin; the way the cottton clasped his foot like the skin to a tightly packed sausage. Ben loved socks, but he hadn't worn any since 1997. Why? The New England Patriots.

The Pats were really sucking it up in the divisional playoff against the Steelers. Ben watched at a sports bar in Onset, Massachusetts. You could tell by the silence that everyone in the bar was having second thoughts about Pete Carroll, who had made an overwhelming number of bad play calls that day. A sorrowful mob made their way towards the parking lot.
"Come on, Ben," said Eyepatch Joe, "let's go into the lot and overturn all the cars with New England Aquarium bumper stickers."

The Naked Guy

The Naked Guy
By Katherine Luck

“Will you just write the word already? It’s not dirty, it’s just a body part. Every guy’s got one—nobody’s gonna care what you call it!”
I took the director off of speaker phone five minutes ago. People were starting to come up from the costume shop to stare into my cubicle and snicker.
“No way! I refuse to write anything about the…y’know. The unit. No girth or length or whatever. We can’t even call it ‘the unit!’ It’s probably an obscenity or something, and the theater’ll get fined.”
I’m on the phone with the director of our theatre’s upcoming production of The Naked Guy. I’m three days late placing the casting call for the lead character on the online callboard. I need to find a good-looking guy in his twenties who’s comfortable with full frontal male nudity for the entirety of ninety minutes. For the play.

Ruby Gets An Exam

Ruby Gets An Exam
By Katherine Luck

I lost my innocence (such as it was) at fourteen on a hot summer morning in Texas. The instrument of my downfall was a very handsome, very young ob-gyn from out of town—one Dr. Dick, after whom my mama was raucously pining.
Fine, hot dust sifted like brown sugar through the window as I sat sulking in the front seat of our temporarily-not-broke-down Oldsmobile, arms crossed tight over my t-shirt. Dipped in a pissed-off silence, Mama drove.
“I don’t see why you won’t willingly do this little thing and help your own mama out. Ain’t nothing to it—just like going to the dentist. Only at the other end.”
“I hate the dentist and I don’t wanna do it, Mama! Why don’t you just tell him you gots the hots for him? I’ll do it for you, if you’re scared.”
Mama’s cheeks went white under her circular rouge job.

Reins of Affliction

Scattered and passionate, Janey struggles to transform the addiction. Her creativity supports her intention but her weak will tells her the addiction cannot be contained. Still, this writing seems so powerful; if only she could manage it. Pens of blue, black, green and red are scattered all over her floor like sprinkles on a cake. Notebooks stacked on the futon, floor, closet shelves and dresser pester and mock her, accenting the sprinkles but harassing her about the terrible habit, this pleasurable anguish. Not one piece of her ever-multiplying collection of writings has been finished. Her struggle is constant; she continues to fight. Empowered by her new orange notebook, she reaches for a red pen and tells herself, "This time will be different. This time I will control you."

The Virgin Tina - A Sad Tale in Bad Rhyme

Some doggerel, both sad and true:

I love the virgin Tina
We walk round the marina
cross the bay from Alameda

Tina is a virgin
not by choice or notion

She's a dog very rare
Coming from Animal Care

She was abandoned and mixed
And Animal Care insisted:
She must be fixed!

But that's only their version.

Now, here's how I became a virgin
At the hands of an evil surgeon

His name is Doctor Tom Lieu
As he felt compelled to do
with his knife, and for life
he permanently fixed me too.

Left me with a big aversion
to Tom lieu, the evil surgeon
Now Tina and I together
forever will be -- a virgin.

The unbroken, Arye Michael Bender, as told by Tina-the-Beast -- a virgin

The Invisible Woman

I’m no different than other women. Every morning I look in the mirror to judge what’s there, and one recent morning I saw it. That obvious, very visible lack of something. Clearly, I needed a new lipstick.

Heading straight for the upscale makeup counter in the upscale mall, I confronted a bazillion lipsticks, propped up and showcased like fresh tulips-hoo boy! At least three associates were on the counter. Piece of cake, I thought. I’ll just choose one of these and be on my way.

Hah! Not before I got a lesson in what it means to be a woman of a certain age.

Sodomy

AryeDirect's picture

Once knew a sodomite
who plied his trade at night.
No matter how hard
he might try to fight,
He remained
a nightime sodomite

Never Marry a Virgin

AryeDirect's picture

He loved The Virgin Mary.
They shared a house
out on the prairie.
He begged, "After we marry???"
She replied, "Only very rarely."

- Arye Michael Bender -

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