There is universal agreement that the US economy is currently in a mess. Calling it a recession or not is merely a matter of semantics. The American people are blaming it on the government, the war in Iraq and, in particular, the greedy banks who were so generous in handing out sub-prime mortgages at enticing lending rates, even to families who really did not have the financial capacity to keep up the interest payments. And now they are foreclosing and driving innocent families out into the street – the cruel bastards. There is merit in this argument, of course, but it is not the whole picture. The American public would be well served if they carried out a little introspection.

The big news story this week is New York Governor Elliot Spitzer’s dalliance with a prostitute; and his subsequent resignation. I do not intend to pass moral judgment on the Governor’s actions – although personally, I believe this to be a matter between him and his wife; and his conscience, if he has one. It is not really the public’s business; except for the suggestion that the Governor may have used tax dollars to finance his escapades. Pretty stupid to leave a paper trail, if you ask me. Even a dumb crook knows that, if you’re carrying out a transaction you want to keep secret, you always pay in cash.

This article, however, is not about Governor Spitzer. It is about Ashley Alexandra Dupre. A week ago, you would have been quite justified in asking, Ashley who? But now the young lady is getting far more than her 15 minutes of fame. Her picture is already splashed across newspapers all over the world; she even got herself mentioned on CNN and BBC.

Trust the Swiss do everything with admirable efficiency and military precision. A bit too efficient, if you ask me and, sadly, at the expense of old world charm. My wife and I were in Switzerland last summer and I don’t think we saw a single cuckoo clock. What we did see was people walking purposefully (the Swiss do not stroll – too inefficient) and trains that arrived and left so punctually that tourists set their watches by them. The Swiss, of course, always know precisely what time it is.

Now those Rolex-toting automatons have extended this efficiency to romance, for God’s sake. Upwardly mobile Swiss executives are too busy clawing their way up the corporate ladder to look for love. American yuppies face that situation too, of course, but somehow they muddle their way through to finding a mate – usually by trial and error. The Swiss would be horrified at such a haphazard approach.

There seems to be an Obama mania sweeping across the United States at the moment. He is being variously portrayed as the new Messiah, the new broom that is going to sweep away the sorry legacy of George Bush; and the brand ambassador of a vibrant, young America.

Just yesterday, I watched a news report on CNN that showed inordinately high snow banks in Maine. According to residents, they haven’t seen this much snow in the last 15 years. In Chicago, citizens are fed up of stepping into mushy puddles of sleet, while grimly hanging on to their newspapers to prevent them being ripped out of their hands by strong, icy cold winds. I told a lady friend in Minneapolis that she looked adorably polar bearish in her white fur parka; but she wasn’t amused. I’m afraid some very unladylike language was employed, with chattering teeth.

Remember when you were little and your parents encouraged you to study hard, so you could ‘make something of yourself’ by becoming a doctor, or a lawyer, or an engineer? Well, after reading this, some professionals – particularly those for whom money is everything – may start to wonder if all those years in college, not to mention those hefty tuition fees, were really worth it.

In terms of making a fast buck, one of the most lucrative jobs going around these days is as a doorman at a Las Vegas casino or night club. At several clubs, these professionals are clearing $8,000 to $10,000 a night before they share tips. So much cash is pouring in that some doormen are making $400,000 to $500,000 a year, according to club officials.

Most Americans, if they think of Australia at all, vaguely recall it as that land ‘down under’ – where everything is upside down. They celebrate Christmas in summer, for Pete’s sake. The Yanks may be on to something.

Here’s another example. In testosterone-driven America and most of Europe, it’s the man who is willing to play any angle to get some sex – either free or paid for. Turns out, some Ozzies like to live up to their reputation and turn things upside down.

Once in a very long while, even a technologically-challenged individual like me comes across a piece of information that brings a smug smile to his lips; and an I-told-you-so hovering on his lips.

I’m talking about those infernal machines, computers, of course – those awesome marvels that can make even a human genius look like a moron, when it comes to number crunching and processing information. Turns out, those behemoth brains have a problem with names – and not just exotic names either.

As an outsider, I find it surprising how often US political debate descends to the level of cherchez la femme. This is particularly apparent during Presidential campaigns. Dukakis had his dangerous liaisons, Bill Clinton had Gennifer Flowers; and now John McCain is purported to have had (literally) a former female lobbyist, Vicky Iseman. Discovering that a candidate has had an amour proper is regarded as the ultimate smoking gun; one that has the potential to annihilate entire careers.

The French, of course, would laugh at this absurdity. Nicolas Sarkozy positively flaunted the gorgeous Carla Bruni (until he later ruined it by marrying her) and his people loved him for it. But in America, having, or admitting to, a brief lapse in hormonal judgment is regarded as the kiss of death. This is particularly hypocritical in a nation where a recent survey revealed that more than half of all couples in America are living together (primarily for sex) without a marriage certificate.

I am kind of surprised that conspiracy theorists and assorted nut jobs have gone underground in this US election year. Come to think of it, they haven’t surfaced at all. Come on guys, some of the Presidential candidates are out there are tailor made for spinning conspiracies around. Get your heads out of your rear ends and start squawking. I’ll even give you a few pointers to start you off.